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Country: Togo
State: Maryland
Birthday: 10/27/1977
Gender: Male
Interests: I just told you
Expertise: Doing the tootsie roll, and macramay at the same time
Occupation: Supervisory
Industry: Construction
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
9/14/2002
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| Ah... So I went to St. Louis to visit my dad and my sister. Very surreal. There is a lot of talk about my father's death. My father is in poor health and there are many issues to be dealt with so it is a mind fuck to have to face these issues.
Anyway so I was doing good. It was nice to be out of Baltimore, in that Baltimore is a very depressing town. The poverty is astounding. While I was in St. Louis I heard back from a job I had a REALLY good feeling about. It was a video professor at Johns Hopkins. I thought it was my job to loose. So I set up an interview and was all amped up for it. It was yesterday. To my detriment I put too much stock in the interview and job. I thought this would be the thing to save me and turn my life around for the better. I did the interview and the woman dominated the whole conversation. I felt like I couldn't talk without being rude. Then at the end I was ambushed with stupid HR questions and references to insignificant collaboratives of "artists" (in the loosest term) that she was found of. At the end she told me that "even if we don't hire you I am still interested in having you show us your veejay work". I came home and slept for 5 hours.
I know I need to pick myself back up and start again but its hard. I just want a job. I am smart, and talented. I have two masters degrees. Why can't I find a FUCKING JOB? | | |
| So I have taken a page from Sarah and Jamie. I am now exercising. I am up to about 50 pushups at once and I can run about 2 miles. Its nice that there is a high school right near my house. The walk to and from is a great warm up/cool down. I am amazed at how much better I am feeling.
Today I got my car back from the shop, to the tune of $1,700. Then I went to Ikea and got a chair and a bed frame. I will be sleeping with my bed off the floor tonight for the first time in 3 years. Holy crap I have been in Baltimore for 5 years. Anyway I am trying to make my apartment a home instead of a place to store my stuff which it has been for far too long. So now I am almost broke and no prospects of a job but my apartment is feeling more homy. | | |
| I just found out one of my best friends at KCAI, Claire, is married. I saw a picture from the wedding and it had all of my friends in it. I am a bit hurt that I was not invited. I'm not mad at Claire more mad at myself that I have the tendency to go off the radar. I'm sure she tried to find me but I have moved 17 times and changed phone numbers 12 times. I'm not sure why it bothers me so much but it does.
Anyway besides that today feels better. I have taken up a bad habit of smoking pot. I am now noticing that after I do the next day is terribly dreadful, like it was yesterday. SO I am going to stop. I think it is interesting how quickly things all go bad, and I have to pause and stand back and take inventory on what is making me feel so bad. Anyway, things are getting better. | | |
| Well today is kinda a crappy day. The depression is kicking up a bit. Last week I was up for 2 jobs which would have made me quite rich. Like go on vacation rich. But... I found out on Friday night that my new york gig pulled out and then I woke up this morning to find out that my Baltimore longer gig fell through as well. So I spent all day playing sim city and trying to look for jobs. Its funny how I can tell when I wake up what kind of day its going to be. Some days I jump out of bed and get right into the shower and leave and go do anything. Other days, like today I didn't want to get up. I didn't take a shower, and I didn't really leave the house. Well I went to the grocery store and made crockpot chili.
I contacted someone at the Depression and bipolar support alliance to get some help. I am interested to hear back. I hate this thing I have sometimes. I am afraid of doing normal things for no reason. Today I was afraid to do laundry. I don't have piles of laundry piling up, just thought it would be nice to do my sheets so I could sleep on fresh sheets. but I got a crap in my stomach when I tried to do it. So thats what I do when I get like this, I eat and watch tv all day. Now I am just babbling. I'm not looking for sympathy sometimes its just nice to have my thoughts become external. | | |
| So get this... my luck has changed for the better on a dime.... Christie, my girlfriend, had a friend visit from NYC. She brought her husband and he and I got along very well. We are both dj's and had a lot to talk about. He went home and since he knows I do freelance video stuff recommended me to his graphic design firm to do a video. The firm is on wall street, and the money is so good it is around 1/4 of what I made last year. Its only a 2 week gig. So I could be rolling in money.
Then later yesterday I went to the mailbox and I found my tax return check, which was almost $1,000 more than what I reported on my return. There was a note explaining why it was more. So it has been a good week so far. If I get all this money I am trying to figure out what to do with all of it. If I can establish a relationship with this wall street firm and I can get enough work, I would like to start my own company. We'll see.
Just spoke with Ultra and Tracey K might be coming to Sugar to perform. I met her in Miami she is a sweetheart. Look her up... my favorite song is "the cure and the cause" | | |
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